


Only Happy When It Rains

by abrandnewstart



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, No Romantic Relationship(s) - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Ranboo Has Long Hair, Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), That Was Literally Why I Wrote This Fanfic, Trans Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), derealisation, no beta we die like men, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrandnewstart/pseuds/abrandnewstart
Summary: Ranboo left everything they had behind for the SMP. And it took everything they had, til they were just a shell. When they can't trust anybody, is there any point in trying?
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 68
Kudos: 572





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is my first fanfic in a long time, and the first one I've written for the Dream SMP, I hope you enjoy! If you notice anything wrong in the fanfic, please feel free to offer constructive criticism in the comments! Ranboo has stated that he is happy with his character being written as nonbinary. Please remember that the experiences of this character are not representative of all nonbinary people.

Ranboo didn’t know who had given them the first memory book. It was a few years ago, at the beginning of their foggiest memories. They didn’t know how they’d ended up on Hypixel, but it worked out well, hostile mob-hybrids ended up on Hypixel a lot, they were used to people like Ranboo. They weren’t seen as a threat, as young as they were. They were especially young to join the arena, but behind their lost memories was something ingrained in their very bones, at some point they’d learnt to fight, they’d fought to live, and that would never leave them.

It was around that time that Ranboo had first seen Technoblade. Back before Ranboo knew they were a they. Technoblade was a legend on Hypixel, but this was the first fight of his that Ranboo had seen, and they were in awe. The memories were fuzzy, but their notes in the memory books brought the feelings back to the surface. Awe of the fight, awe of the support Technoblade had from the crowd. Awe of his hair. That was when Ranboo started to grow their hair out. 

Most of the time they didn’t keep it down, keeping it tucked neatly under their helmet when they were out and about, or tied up out the way when they were in the arena, but it was there. It was around that time that they realised they weren’t the genders that the humans kept projecting onto them. The hims Ranboo received when they were binding, hair tucked neatly away, the shes aimed their way when they wore their hair down and took binding breaks. They both sat under Ranboo’s skin, like an itch they couldn’t scratch. 

When they figured out they weren’t either, Ranboo was ecstatic, and nobody bothered them after they started correcting people. They were a good fighter, and that was all that mattered to the people around them, and slowly but surely Ranboo gained a name for themself in the arena. Of course, they also gained the teasing name of “Walmart Technoblade”, but Ranboo couldn’t bring themself to be less than a little flattered by it. They looked up to Technoblade.

Most of the time, server switching was voluntary and some people did it daily, however Ranboo was worried about the effect it might have on their already fragile memories. After all, they had no memories before Hypixel, and nobody was born or spawned there, they had to have switched there at some point. Involuntary server switching was much rarer, and it wasn’t clear what caused it, which is why Ranboo panicked a lot when, in the middle of a match, they were disconnected from Hypixel and loaded in on the Dream SMP. 

They’d heard of it of course, even fantasised about being asked to join, but they never thought it’d happen. Private servers were notorious for being wary of hostile mob-hybrids, preferring to stick with humans. So when Ranboo ended up on one, they did their best to appear as harmless and ordinary as possible, suppressing their more enderman-like traits, teaching themself not to flinch when people made eye-contact or misgendered them. They made one trip back to Hypixel to retrieve the rest of their memory books, a trip that left Ranboo disoriented for days, their head spinning and memory fuzzy.

They’d hidden their collection of books somewhere safe, and took to exploring the server more, and they’d even started to make friends with people like Tommy and Tubbo. For once they were normal, and people actually wanted to be friends with them! So Ranboo wanted to do everything they could to keep those friends. So they went along with pretty much everything they suggested doing, they knew the server much better than them right? But that was where it all started to go wrong.

They went with Tommy to grief George’s house, and they had a lot of fun, until it all went wrong. They were both put on trial. Of course Tommy denied it, but Ranboo was stressed, so many people were looking at them, it made their memory so much fuzzier and they didn’t want to take their book out . Tommy looked them in the eye and Ranboo couldn’t stop themself flinching. They knew that Tommy could read the panic and confusion on their face. So Tommy covered for them and ended up in deep shit. Ranboo thought Tubbo would fix it, he was the president and he was Tommy’s friend. But Tubbo caved to Dream and sent Tommy away, and everything got worse and worse.

Tubbo was distant, always on L’Manberg business. Ranboo was now “the minutes man” because they were always writing in their memory book. To begin with they visited Tommy, and exchanged letters, but eventually Tommy just stopped replying and Ranboo guessed Tommy must have got bored of them. Or maybe realising it was all their fault that he was exiled. And everyday Ranboo noticed more people glancing at them out the corner of their eyes, looking at them suspiciously when they thought their back was turned. It happened as Ranboo ducked to go through doors, when they avoided eye contact, at the warbling sound that was the undertone of their laugh.

The happy atmosphere that had been there when Ranboo joined had faded quickly. They were constantly stressed, slipping into more and more of their enderman behaviors even as they tried harder to cover them up. They were pressured into joining in as the so-called Butcher Army placed Philza under house arrest and hunted down Technoblade, the person Ranboo had looked up to most. They tried to stay on the defensive, stuck in a fight they didn’t even want to be in, they wanted it to end. But Quackity took Technoblade’s horse as leverage and Ranboo felt sick to their stomach as they helped escort him to his own execution.

This was all wrong. This was never what they had wanted. The anvil fell, and Ranboo couldn’t help reach out their hand, as if they could stop it just by wanting. Then Technoblade used his totem and it all went wrong. Ranboo jumped at the sudden, jarring noise and before they could think about it they teleported backwards away from the stand. They looked around, praying nobody had seen, and made direct eye contact with Quackity. Ranboo flinched away, and then Quackity was gone, chasing after Technoblade. Looking around to make sure nobody else was watching and taking a deep breath, Ranboo teleported back to their house, not making it another step before they collapsed. Tears rolled down their face, sizzling and burning streaks in their skin, and they could barely breathe between sobs.

Their chest felt like it was being crushed, and Ranboo realised they couldn’t remember the last time they took their binder off. Frantically tugging their shirt off, they tried to pull the binder over their head, but they were pulling too hard, too quickly and it tore down the side. Even though it was off, Ranboo couldn’t feel their breathing easing, it was getting harder and harder to drag the air in, the corners of their vision going dark. Their communicator kept pinging in the background, and they thought they could hear a death message tone. 

Forcing themself to take deep breaths, the broken binder clutched to their chest, they checked the death message. Quackity. Techno had killed him. Was it Ranboo’s fault? If they had been there would it have been different? They knew they didn’t have long before somebody came to find them, whether it was just for a meeting or because Quackity had seen anything. They had to get up. Had to. Had to write it all down before the memories drifted away.

Ranboo looked down at their binder and sighed. That was the last one they’d brought with them, they’d been damaged in accident after accident, and they couldn’t risk the time or the state it would put them in to go server switch to go get another one. Pulling the roll of bandages out of a chest, Ranboo made a face. How did it come to this? They used to be so careful with their binding. But at this point they couldn’t risk showing weakness or abnormality. Taking another deep breath, they wrapped the bandages around themself before pulling their shirt back on, looking sadly at the missing button near the bottom. 

Their spare jacket was tucked away in a chest, they didn’t know where the normal one had gone, but Ranboo needed the security and coverage it provided. They retrieved and carefully pulled it on, ignoring the ache the movement sent through their ribs. It would have to do until a quieter moment, when they could find a better solution. Ranboo grabbed their helmet from where they left it and quietly slipped away from their house. They’d write everything down in the memory book once they got to the meeting that would surely start soon. 

It had been false hope to assume they could reach it before the others, Ranboo honestly had no idea how long they’d been panicking in their house before they were coherent again. However, they hadn’t expected the anger behind everybody’s eyes as they looked at Ranboo as Ranboo entered the room. Quackity was in the middle of recounting his battle with Technoblade, and nobody interrupted him to greet them. They sat down quickly and started taking notes, trying to include what they remembered as well as what Quackity was talking about, but he had started to go off on a tangent, ranting about hostile mob-hybrids and violence and betrayal. 

Ranboo tried to keep their eyes angled down at their book, but they could feel all the eyes burning into them, hot and angry glares that made them want to get away at all costs.

“Technoblade is a freak!” Quackity spat. “We should have never let any hostile mob-hybrids onto the server in the first place, all they do is cause destruction and violence. He created more problems than he solved by joining the server. It’s too dangerous to let him and his kind walk around any longer. You all know who I’m talking about.” 

Ranboo looked up and for just a second, met Quackity’s eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is a funny thing. So is memory. So are friends. All three betray Ranboo, and in the end, nothing is left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this chapter isn't going to go anywhere but worse for Ranboo. It isn't the last chapter though, it will get better and I will be updating it fairly soon. I don't know how long this fic will be, but I will try to see the story through to the end. Thank you so much for all your support, I've never been in a fandom as active as this, and it's certainly an amazing thing! I was so surprised how many hits, kudos and subscriptions it had in less than 24 hours, and it really inspired me to write the second chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it!

Ranboo couldn’t maintain eye contact for more than a second, they had to look away and a small vwoop forced itself out of their throat. “You see what I’m talking about Tubbo?” Quackity asked, still staring Ranboo down. “Can you really trust a man, can you have a friend that can’t even bear to look you in the eye?” Ranboo shivered, they needed to speak up, to say something, anything. But all the words were stuck in their throat, a lump forming that threatened to choke them. “You all saw him save Technoblade, he reached out his arm and then I saw Ranboo teleport, that pig didn’t have a totem before, we searched him, didn’t we? It must have been you Ranboo, I mean you’d never even told any of us you could teleport.”

Ranboo was drowning, all the accusations and their own words swimming around in their head. They needed to defend themself, to say anything. But they could hear it written in their own thoughts. _You didn’t save Technoblade, but you wanted to. You didn’t fight him, didn’t try to help any of your friends. What does that make you? You’re a Traitor._ Quackity kept talking but it was like Ranboo was underwater, water in their ears, in their mouth, in their nose, and Ranboo was drowning in it. They could see it written on Quackity’s face, on Fundy’s, even on Tubbo’s.

Tubbo. Tubbo was their friend. Wasn’t he? But Technoblade had hurt Tubbo, taken one of his lives. And everybody thought Ranboo was the same as Technoblade. Just another hostile mob-hybrid. Dangerous. A traitor. Not a friend, but a threat. Tubbo didn’t want to be their friend anymore. They’d all chosen a side and pinned Ranboo to the opposite one, unable to move or defend themself. And maybe they were all right. Ranboo had never been themself, trying to pretend to be harmless, to be ordinary all along.

“Ranboo. Ranboo. Ranboo!” Somebody yelled. Ranboo couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. Quackity was right. They were a Traitor. Then somebody tried to yank their memory book out from where it was clutched in Ranboo’s arms and everything went to hell. From somewhere in the back of their throat came a snarl, bubbling up and over until it was so loud it hurt Ranboo’s ears. There were hands all over them, touching them, grabbing them and there was nowhere safe close enough to teleport away. They lashed out blindly, they needed to get out of there, do something, anything.

At some point in the chaos Ranboo’s crown was pulled off and flung across the room, and they screeched in pain as it pulled on their hair. Long hair fell down around Ranboo’s face, impeding their vision even further as their carefully pinned, hidden hairstyle was torn out. Everything was collapsing down around them, the well worn mask of humanity ripped away, leaving them vulnerable, exposed to everybody they’d been trying to hide from all along. Ranboo was blindly fighting, almost flailing to get out because there was the door, there was the door, there was the door.

For a second, they were free, almost out, almost out, but then they were falling. Ranboo hit the ground face first as their feet were swept out from under them and they felt a crunch. There was blood on their face, in their nose, in their mouth and they still scrambled to escape, but something tugging them back. A hand fisted through their hair, held tight, and no matter how hard they pulled or twisted, Ranboo couldn’t break free, choked sobs tumbling out of their throat. Another person grabbed and held down their flailing legs while something was clamped around their ankle. 

This wasn’t anything Ranboo had felt before, waves of nausea hitting them, it felt like their limbs had been turned to lead and it _hurt_. Every feeling was amplified, every tug on their hair, the throbbing coming from their face, the person crushing their legs. Ranboo let out a whimper. Every fight they’d been in, every wound they’d been given, nothing was like this. Their head was slowing down as well, like it was harder to think, and eventually their body gave out. They could barely move, and Ranboo lay almost still on the ground, barely moving to breathe.

Somebody picked them up and flung them over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes and Ranboo couldn’t do anything about it. Ranboo was carried through L’Manberg in silence. There were either no witnesses or just nobody cared enough to step in. Their vision was swimming, but they vaguely recognised where they were. The podium. Their house was so close. So close. But they couldn’t move. Then they were falling, falling too far. Ranboo hit the obsidian floor of the bunker, and didn’t even have enough energy to scream as they felt their ribs crack. The obsidian whispered to them, words and phrases just below their hearing.

Somebody landed next to them, and Ranboo heard the sounds of mining. Hasty hands removed their jacket, rifling through their pockets and their inventory before they were lifted up once more and slid through a narrow gap. They landed on the floor on the other side with a thud, and this time Ranboo could see the ceiling. It also meant that they could see Tubbo’s face, just before he closed up the one block hole, leaving Ranboo in complete darkness. Nothing but the memory of the hatred on Tubbo’s face.

Time is a funny thing. Ranboo swam in and out of consciousness for a long time before they managed to sit up, or that was what they thought, it could have been mere seconds. The waves of nausea and weakness from whatever was on their ankle never stopped coming, and in the pitch black of the room, Ranboo could see them like waves of colour across their vision. The whispers of the obsidian surrounding them were always there, always present.

Their memory was getting hazier, everything drifted away in the void of that room. They forgot why they were there, they forgot where there was. They forgot who had put them there, forgot which were friends and which were foes. Even their name drifted in and out of focus, a few distant, vivid memories of Hypixel were left as a tether. The whispers seemed to get louder and louder, til they screamed at Ranboo in a voice that was familiar, but that put goosebumps on their arms, a voice that Ranboo knew.

Eventually, they forgot what was real and what was not. Whether it was a nightmare or a terrible reality. They stared at the ceiling, unseeing, as food was chucked in, it formed a pile next to them even as their stomach growled. What happened if you ate something that wasn’t real? It was pointless. Did the walls really scream at them, or was it just the silence that surrounded them. Were they real? This didn’t happen to real people. Were they a real person?

To begin with they tried to get the voices to go away, yelling at them, screeching til their voice was hoarse, warbling until it disappeared entirely. The food kept on piling up next to them, but even if it was real, their mouth was full of sand, their tongue was too large for their mouth. Ranboo remembered sand, sand was warm and soft and a place for friends. And Ranboo remembered water, but they couldn’t have water, and they didn’t know why anymore, and surely a drink of water would fix the sand in their mouth?

Sometimes Ranboo had dreams, sometimes they had nightmares, sometimes they fought demons in their tiny box. People who were soft and warm and held them. People with hard, cold faces and hands that hurt. They were all blurs of memory rushing past. It was during one of the nightmares that Ranboo heard them, different voices to normal on the other side of the wall. Two voices, happy ones, laughing and joking. Ranboo wanted to call out to them, to ask if they were real, but their voice was gone, nothing but the smallest warble slipping out.

“Did you hear that?” A voice asked. “Hear what?” The other asked. “Sounded like an enderman. Anyways, we should get out of here, your armour clearly isn’t here, unless you fancy stealing the rotten flesh?” Ranboo tried again, to do something, to make any noise, but their energy was gone, their voice vanished. They were real, but they were alone. Ranboo was still trapped, and as the two voices vanished, still joking and laughing, the whispers around them crept in again, suffocating them.

When the people came for them, Ranboo didn’t struggle. They were too weak now, they didn’t know how long they’d been in there without eating or drinking anything. Ranboo was carried out of the bunker, and the light of the outside was so bright that their eyes were stinging and tears dripped down their face leaving burning trails in their wake. They weren’t carried for long before they were pushed into a box of iron bars and glass. Memories raced past in Ranboo’s head too fast for them to try and understand anything between the feeling of dread they left behind in their stomach.

The person who had carried Ranboo tried to prop them up against the bars in a standing position, but as soon as he let go they crumpled to the floor. They didn’t have any strength left in them. Blurred memories screamed at them to run, to fight, but their body protested. Ranboo knew in their heart, this would be the end.

Somebody was still talking at them, but he was yelling at them, hate in his words, and Ranboo didn’t want to listen. Did it really matter any more? Reaching their hand up to their face, Ranboo felt something, and when they took their hand away dark flakes of dried blood followed it. Huh, where did that come from? They didn’t remember. Ranboo wished they could remember. Why they were hated and hurt, why they’d given up.

They’d given up.

It felt like a release. This didn’t have to matter any more. Ranboo lifted it up their head, the movement slow and painful. They could see the sun again. Something glinted on the balcony ahead, but it didn’t matter. The smile tore their face open, their tears stung as they rolled down their face, but Ranboo knew. This would be the last time. Then, a click.

Then nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo doesn't know how they got there. They just know they have to get away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really struggled writing this chapter, and it went a few ways that I didn't expect it to. I'm very happy with how it turned out though, and I just wanted to tell you guys not to worry. There is no major character death tagged in this fic. Ranboo will not die in this chapter, don't worry.
> 
> Thank you so much everybody for all the support you've given me with this fic, I never expected it, and it makes me incredibly emotional to see. I wish I could thank every single one of you, but instead I hope that you enjoy my writing and that you want to come back for more.  
> Thank you, everybody.

The world had stopped turning. It had all faded away and Ranboo was left frozen in that instant of time between the fall of the anvil and the end of everything. This was the moment that was nothing, and yet it was everything. A bittersweet snapshot, grabbing that precious few seconds of quiet, of peace with both hands, soured by the bitter fear of what came next that left them paralysed. If the moment never ended, Ranboo never had to endure what would come next. But if it never ended, it would be tainted forever by the terror of what was to come.

They’d accepted it. Ranboo had already accepted it, so why were they still so afraid? There wasn’t anything left for them here in the blurred faces, the lost memories that even that minute slipped out of their grasp. Were they a bad person? Ranboo supposed they must have been, who else deserves an execution like this? Nothing could be done now. This was really and truly the end.

And so the moment passed. Ranboo drew in a breath and the world turned again, the sounds of it seeping back into their ears. Tears blurred their eyes, and Ranboo waited for it to happen. They heard it fall.

“Hey Ranboo!” A voice yelled, and Ranboo startled at the sound of their name, glancing up towards the voice. A blurred object was flying directly towards their face, their arm snapped up to catch it without even thinking, a forgotten muscle memory. Ranboo grabbed it, pulling it tight to their chest. But they couldn’t use it to prevent the anvil hitting them. They curled into themself, the object clutched to their chest, the other above their head as if it would protect them. An anvil was supposed to be an instant death. No pain, no nothing, just gone.

But Ranboo wasn’t gone. They were still there. And there was a split second where they felt all of the pain. The bones in their hand shatter. Their skull fracture. Ribs break. Spine snap. And they were dead, they should be dead, but Ranboo wasn’t dead. A familiar noise rang in their ears and in an instant they were knitted back together piece by piece. Ranboo screamed, but no sound came out, voice lost. As quickly as it came the pain was gone, leaving an ache that was bone deep. They weren’t dead. They weren’t dead. They needed to get out. They needed to get out. **They needed to get out. They needed to get out. _They needed to get out._ Ṭ̴̯̰̈́͛h̷̛͔̞e̵̳̾y̵̭̏̏ ̴̯̺̟̕ń̷͉̩͜ē̷̤̐̈́e̷̠̽͝d̷̫̄͝ė̵̺͕ͅd̴̰̒ ̸͓͛t̶̻͉̄̀o̶̠͈͗̇̕ ̷͉͕̒̕g̴̹͚͈̏̊͋ȩ̷̙̏t̴͙̦̱̎̈ ̶̧̥͔͗̌̽o̷͍̝͌̐ụ̵̠̻̎̅t̸̲̼͙͋.̸͍̥̖̌ **

The wind rushed around them and an inhuman noise tore itself from Ranboo’s damaged throat. They were out of the cage. But they needed to stand up. To run. To disappear. Something warm dripped down Ranboo’s face, and when they swallowed the taste of iron was overwhelming. Bracing their arms against the floor, Ranboo pushed as hard as they could, willing them to support all their weight. But it wasn’t any use, their arms shook and then gave out. So Ranboo grasped inside their head, for the thing that allowed them to jump. They’d never done it on purpose before, but they had to get away, to go as far away as they could think.

With as much force as they could muster Ranboo pulled on the power, and something snapped. But the wind was rushing again and they’d done it. They’d done it. There wasn’t any of the energy in the air that was characteristic of L’Manberg. The air was still, and a chill soaked into Ranboo’s bones. Flopping onto their back, Ranboo stared up at the sky. It wasn’t blue and sunny like in L’Manberg, instead it was grey, full of snowflakes that spiralled and danced downwards, a choreography of thousands upon thousands of the tiny crystals. Some of them drifted down to land on Ranboo’s face, tiny clusters forming in their eyelashes. 

It was beautiful, and peaceful and Ranboo didn’t want to move anymore. They were safe, nobody would find them here. There were bunnies not too far away, Ranboo could hear them hopping around, the noise of their tiny feet in the snow. It got closer and closer, until a little nose poked Ranboo’s cheek. Turning their head slightly, slowly as not to startle it, Ranboo saw a black and white bunny, shivering in the cold air. They looked each other in the eyes, and Ranboo gave a small smile. It was like them. The bunny poked their cheek again, before climbing up onto Ranboo’s chest, seeming to almost snuggle into the warmth, and Ranboo’s heart melted.

Ignoring the jolts of pain the action sent through their body, Ranboo reached up with one hand and unbuttoned the top of their shirt before lifting it up slightly, shivering at the blast of cold air that it let in. The bunny looked at Ranboo for a second, and Ranboo took the opportunity to gently push it under their shirt. It took a few seconds, but the bunny settled down again, curling up on their chest, so Ranboo redid the buttons and let their arm fall again. They could feel the warmth of the bunny soak through the bandages on their chest, it’s heart beating quickly in it’s chest. For the first time in as long as they could remember, Ranboo didn’t feel alone.

How did they end up here? Not specifically this place, but in this position. They didn’t remember much beyond how they ended up in the box they’d been in before the failed execution. Did they even remember all of that time? It all seemed to blur into one, like time didn’t pass. They could just barely remember Hypixel, but Ranboo knew they weren’t in Hypixel anymore, where were they? Ranboo’s chest went tight, their eyes were screwed shut and for a second it felt like the ground was spinning, like they were falling through the void, not like jumping to another place. They forced their eyes open and the world wasn’t spinning, Ranboo gasped for breath and realised that the bandages were still binding their chest.

Distantly they wondered how long those bandages had been on, but it wasn’t really their biggest worry at the moment. The bunny curled up on their chest was warm, and it was like Ranboo could feel the warmth spreading out from their chest to their hands and their feet. It was warm against the cold snow, and their limbs felt heavy. Ranboo was running on empty before they’d desperately jumped twice, and now there was just nothing left. They were so, so tired, they were warm, and the snow was soft. Yes, they knew you shouldn’t go to sleep in the snow, but they needed to close their eyes for just a second, just to get their energy back.

Ranboo blinked and that was it. Before it had been a grey, snowy day, but still a day, the next it was night. There were mobs to prove it, Ranboo could hear them, just outside their circle of vision. They were fairly well hidden at the moment, half buried under the snow, but at any second one of them could literally stumble over them and Ranboo would be gone. There was no way Ranboo could defend themself in their current state. Although the bunny was still there against their chest, it’s warmth was confined to that small patch, the rest of Ranboo’s limbs felt cold, stiff and heavy. They weren’t sure if they were even able to move anymore.

So maybe they were better off staying where they were and staying quiet. Listening to the rustling footsteps that filled the air around them. Hoping that whatever stumbled over them wasn’t a creeper so they at least had a chance of fighting it off. Yeah, that sounded like the better way. So when Ranboo heard the footsteps approaching them, they were ready. They waited until the shadowy figure was almost right on top of them and grabbed its ankles, pulling as hard as they could. The figure toppled, caught off guard and Ranboo twisted and sank their teeth into its leg. 

But it was a short lived burst of energy, and Ranboo sat back, unable to catch their breath with the sharp pain in their chest. If the mob wasn’t dead, Ranboo didn’t think they could fight it any longer. It let out a groan and pushed itself up onto its feet, and Ranboo was confused, it didn’t sound like a zombie, but no other mob groaned, did it? They were even more confused when it pulled out an axe, and Ranboo was blinded momentarily as it pulled out a torch, the sudden change in light hurting their sensitive eyes.

“Ranboo?” The thing asked, and Ranboo realised that this wasn’t a mob, it was worse. They were a person. And the only people Ranboo could remember here had tried to execute them. They tried to shuffle backwards, but reversed straight into a tree, the action sending another spasm of pain through their ribs. “Ranboo can you understand me?” The person asked again, stepping forward, their axe raised and Ranboo flinched back, clutching at their chest. Glancing at the axe in their hand, the person seemed to come to a realisation, and tucked it back into their belt.

“Ranboo, it’s me, Technoblade, I won’t hurt you.” And Ranboo saw vague flashes, a man with an arrogant smile and a loud laugh, and saw anger and pain and the execution box. The man in front of them looked like that, but different. Quiet and sad and in pain. Ranboo was confused, and Technoblade seemed to read it on their face. “Do you… do you not remember me?” He asked them. Ranboo opened their mouth to reply, but no sound came out, so they gave a small, sad smile in reply.

Technoblade glanced Ranboo up and down, before suddenly, very obviously realising something. “Have you been out here in the snow since… since earlier? You’re shaking, and your clothes are soaked through. Follow me, we need to get you warm.” Now that he had mentioned it, Ranboo could feel it all, even the burning where the snow had melted and soaked their clothes with water. Ranboo nodded in reply, and pushed against the ground to stand up. They managed to get up on their feet this time, just barely and Ranboo cracked a weak smile in Technoblade’s direction. The man just looked concerned.

As Ranboo turned to walk away, a sharp pain lanced through their side. Colours sprayed across their vision, and they felt their feet give way beneath them. Once again, they were falling, and to Ranboo the fall felt endless as their vision faded away to grey, and then black.

They never felt themselves hit the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry it took me such a long time to get this chapter out, but I really hope you enjoy it. I found Technoblade very hard to write, so I'm sorry if he isn't much in character. Thank you so much for all your support, if you have any plot based questions, please feel free to dm me on my tumblr at tilthedarknessclaimsus , I probably won't answer them in the comments to avoid spoilers.

Ranboo jolted awake as they felt fingers unbutton their shirt. Shoving the hands away, they tried to sit up, to get a better view of where they were, but that sharp pain in Ranboo’s chest still remained. But they recognised the person in front of them, the person from before, he said his name was Technoblade? Technoblade wanted to help them, Ranboo couldn’t remember the last time anybody had wanted to help them.

“Ranboo, look, your clothes are soaking wet, and I need to check your injuries. Totems will heal you enough to keep you alive, but they don’t always heal neatly or prettily.” Technoblade said, “You need a change of clothes, and I can’t check your injuries or clean you up with these ones still on. You’re in a bit of a state and you don’t look like you can do it on your own, ok?” Ranboo hesitated. They felt vulnerable. But they weren’t in a dungeon, they were lying down on some sort of bench near a fire, maybe in a cabin?

Reluctantly, they nodded yes, and Technoblade started to undo the buttons, moving his hands slowly, keeping them in view, obviously trying not to startle Ranboo. He caught sight of the bandages across Ranboo’s chest and they froze. Would he know? “What happened here that you need bandages? They’re old bandages, but there’s no bleeding to show for an injury that age like there should be with the trauma you went through. Did one of them do this?” Technoblade asked. Ranboo shook their head to say no, and he looked puzzled. “Well then who did? They’re an idiot if you ask me.”

Ranboo tried to think of a lie, something else to tell him, but nothing came to mind. They gestured sadly at themself. “You did this? From what I’ve heard, you’re smart enough to know better than to bandage what I presume is a broken rib like this.” Technoblade looked annoyed, and Ranboo’s face flushed hot. Embarrassed, they looked down at their hands. “We need to get those bandages off right now.” He reached to unbutton Ranboo’s shirt further, but they shook their head frantically. It was a secret hidden for so long now, and Ranboo had no clue how Technoblade would react, whether they’d be in danger again.

“No? What do you mean no?” Technoblade looked puzzled, his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re obviously in pain and you know this is causing even more damage. Why don’t you want me to take them off?” Ranboo could see the cogs turning in Technoblade’s head and tried to gesture for a pen. “You need to write something down to tell me? It’s that important?” He asked Ranboo, and they nodded frantically. Standing up, Technoblade rummaged through one of his chests before pulling out and book and pen, handing it to Ranboo.

Their hands were shaky but the sentence was legible. _I put the bandages on before the ribs were broken._ Ranboo could see the realisation in Technoblade’s eyes. “You were binding?” Hesitantly, they nodded in response. “How long have those bandages been on, Ranboo?” He asked. Ranboo couldn’t do anything but shrug in response, but Technoblade was persistent. “Can you write it down?” There wasn’t much of an answer to give. _I don’t remember._ “Was it before you were…” Technoblade hesitated on his words, “... taken prisoner?” _I think so._

At that Technoblade looked confused again, before he seemed to come to a realisation. “Ranboo, how much do you remember before I found you?” He asked. Ranboo took a second to think of the response. _My name. I used to be on Hypixel. I’m not anymore. I was trapped in a box in the dark. Some people dragged me out to be executed. I died. I was alive again. I jumped away. I found bunny. You._ Ranboo remembered. _Where is bunny?_ Technoblade moved to one side, and Ranboo could see the bunny curled up in front of the fire. “She didn’t want to leave you.” Technoblade told them and they felt their heart burst with affection for the tiny animal.

“Ranboo, I need to be honest with you, there are a lot of things I need to tell you about, but you need patching up, and some rest first. I don’t think you’re going to be able to get those bandages off yourself without hurting yourself worse than you already have.” Technoblade sighed. “I get that you’re not gonna be comfortable with this, but I’m going to have to cut them off, but I can do it from the back.” Ranboo nodded in reply, and very slowly, they sat up, shifting forwards so Technoblade could stand behind them. With shaking hands they unbuttoned their shirt, wincing at the movement it took to take their arms out of it, and draped it across their front. Ranboo had lost everything, they’d cling to the last scrap of dignity that they had left if it killed them.

Technoblade was quick but careful slicing through the bandages, and a massive wave of relief washed over Ranboo’s body as the constricting bandages were removed. “I’m going to get you some better clothes than that wreckage of a suit, it’s not wearable.” Technoblade left the room, and Ranboo took a minute to lean back and rest against the seat again, carefully checking that they were covered by the shirt. All their muscles in their sides and back were screaming, Ranboo hadn’t even felt it til the bandages were removed. But the cabin was warm, and the light from the fire left softly dancing patterns across the walls. 

Ranboo didn’t remember much, but they held onto the familiarity that Technoblade brought, old feelings of awe, respect, being happy and excited, and for the first time in a long time, they felt safe. And sure, they felt a bit of doubt, but Technoblade was a powerful person, and Ranboo was useless, if he’d wanted to he could have easily hurt Ranboo already, or just left them out in the snow to die. Ranboo let themself smile, a genuine smile, for the first time in a long time. Technoblade came back in the room, and Ranboo quickly switched to a more neutral expression.

“Here, kid, I bought some clothes, they aren’t much but they shouldn’t annoy any of your injuries. I need to clean up your back, then you can put them on before I do your face.” Ranboo leant forward, slowly and carefully while Technoblade placed the clothes down. They heard a bottle being uncorked, and braced for the sting of water on their back, but it never came, it was nothing but the gentle tingling of a healing potion. Technoblade used a cloth to gently dab it onto Ranboo’s back, working in circular motions to cover the many cuts and scrapes.

It was almost a relaxing feeling, and Ranboo’s eyes started to flutter as they fought not to fall asleep. It was so warm in the room, the most comfortable place they could remember being in. But it was over soon, and blinking the sleep from their eyes, Ranboo sat up. “I’m just going to pass you these clothes kid, and I’ll turn around while you get changed. Just leave what you’re wearing on the floor, I’ll deal with it later.” True to his word, Technoblade handed Ranboo the clothes and turned around. Ranboo had a green tunic, and a pair of loose black trousers. They carefully edged out of their old clothes while staying in their old position half sitting, half lying on the chair, and into the new ones. 

The clothes were definitely made for a broader frame than Ranboo’s, they were very lanky, but at least these were vaguely the right length, and made of a soft fabric that had them melting as they put it on. The tunic had short sleeves, and Ranboo was worried about being cold with it on, but the heat from the fire kept them warm still. Realising that they didn’t have a way of telling Technoblade that they had finished, Ranboo knocked softly on the wall to try and get his attention. Thankfully it worked, and Technoblade turned around, his expression unreadable as he scanned Ranboo’s face.

“I can clean up some of the blood and burns on your face, I don’t think I can fix where your nose was broken though, not without breaking it again, I think it set there when you used the totem.” Technoblade said, and Ranboo nodded in reply. He brought the healing potion and cloth again, and started gently wiping it at the patches of dried blood and burns on their face. “I’m worried about your hand as well, I think it might have set broken as well. But I don’t think we can fix that at the moment, and it isn’t your dominant hand at least.” Ranboo realised they’d almost tuned out the pain coming from their swollen hand, they were so focused on everything else around them. It must have broken… it must have broken when the anvil hit.

Ranboo looked at their hands sadly, their right hand was dominant for writing, but archery, sword fighting, using tools? Their left was the dominant one. They didn’t know how to convey that to Technoblade without interrupting him though, so Ranboo left it unsaid. The burns on Ranboo’s face stung more than the cuts, but where they would normally flinch and jolt away, they sat still, their reactions dulled. It was almost like they were numb, but the pain still remained. It was such a strange feeling, like Ranboo’s mind was drifting away from themself til they were watching in third person.

It didn’t feel real, and Ranboo could see Technoblade try to get their attention, knew that their empty, blank stare must be worrying, but they didn’t feel like themself anymore. They felt removed, detached. Ranboo didn’t know what to do to stop it. But Technoblade did. Ranboo felt swept away as Technoblade wrapped them in a hug, washed back into their body, into that moment. They were real, they were here. Ranboo was being hugged, had anybody ever hugged them before? They didn’t remember. It was so warm, warmer than the fire, and Ranboo was held, they were present. 

“You’re safe kid, I’m not going to let anybody else hurt you.” Ranboo realised they were shaking, and tried to take deep breaths. They were so tired. And they were safe, and Technoblade was here. They’d been fighting off sleep for so long. Ranboo’s breath started to even out, and they pressed their face into Technoblade’s shoulder. Sleep was winning the battle, and Ranboo began to drift away. Their eyes slipped shut, and Ranboo felt like the were floating, before they gently landed and soft blankets enclosed them to replace the warmth of the hug  
_I’m safe._  
Sleep won.


End file.
